Growing up I led a shelted life. My parent's were overprotective and unaware of my feelings. I always felt like I was swimming in circles.
Somedays I felt like I lived in a fish bowl. It wasn't easy for me to make friends. I was shy. I became introverted. It wasn't that my parent's controled me or abused me, it was that they didn't let me be a kid.
I wasn't able to join in fun activities, allowed to date or even spend the night with my friends. Deep down I guess the reason my parent's were that way was because I was adopted and an only child.
I never questioned their motives out loud, but I often wanted to scream at them. I felt I was being punished for something I didn't do. People saw us as the perfect family, but there were hidden secrets.
I continued to swim in circles the older I got. I was growing up and I tried to rebel. I guess it was the natural
course because I had always been sequestered from the outside world
I did love my parent's, but I honestly can say I didn't like them. For a child who grew up without the pleasures of childhood, I guess I became the adult I am today.
I still suffer emotional scars from that time in my life. It wasn't easy living in an era where secrets existed and lies were formed.
Today I still swim in circles because my head is filled with painful memories. Yes, I do have good memories but not many.
Life isn't perfect and mine was far from it. I often dreamt about having a normal childhood, but it wasn't to be. My adulthood was formed from my childhood. I can't go back and change those days, but I guess I will
continue to swim in circles until I can break free.