Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Lie He Told

My heart jumped out of my chest. I was certain he could hear the thunderous thump, thump, thump. I tried to steady my shaky hand. I wanted my aim to be dead on.

I watched John and his mistress cavort. They were like clock-work. Every Saturday they would meet at the park. He would push her high in the swing. They acted like a couple of school kids. How could he?

The gun shook violently in my hand. They didn't see me. The massive oak tree hid me from their view. Why John?  I gave you twenty-five years of my life. This is how you repay me.


John and the pretty young thing he chose over me continued their jaunt like they were the only two in the world. I cocked the 38 Special and aimed in their direction. My palms sweated profusely. I wiped them on the side of my jogging suit. I didn't really have a plan. No get-a-way, just shoot them dead and wait for the cops.

Suddenly John and his girl toy ran toward my direction. I panicked. Did they spot me?  Bile rose in my throat. It was now or never. They got closer to the edge of where I lay in wait. They were like rabbits caught in a snare.

I stepped out from behind the massive oak tree and caught them off guard.

"Suzette!" John's shocked voice cracked. His eyes widened. "I....I can explain," he muttered.

Girl toy didn't say anything. She tried to hide behind John, but I grabbed her thin, barely there tee-shirt and yanked her back so she could face me.

I saw the fear in her eyes.

I pointed the gun at them. "Well John, looks like you lied again."

"Suzette please. It's not what you think. Please let her go."

"Please," I screamed. "That's all you have to say."

He began to shake. I had him right where I wanted him.

"How could you be so insensitive? I thought you were happy?"

I didn't give him a chance to answer. I pulled the trigger twice and blew their brains out.


For the Indie Ink Writing Challenge this week, Seesaw challenged me with "insensitive" and I challenged Kat with "the good,the bad and the ugly".

10 comments:

Karen S. said...

Excellent take on your oh so interestly good writing! Very nice!

Margaret Duarte said...

Great response to a provocative writing challenge. Bet they were innocent.

Lady Goo Goo Gaga said...

Oh wow, interesting.....

Seesaw said...

Ouch! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned :-)

Head Ant said...

And watch her be like his love child or something.

I remember knocking on my ex's door once while he was galavanting inside with his mistress. Not a pleasant time.

Kelly Garriott Waite said...

There must be a twist in there somewhere. I really didn't think she'd go through with it.

Liz Culver said...

That was pretty brutal. Her venom about the whole situation really comes through in your writing 'girl toy' and that she was angry enough to just do it.

Tara R. said...

You took no prisoners with this piece. The shock of the ending was perfect for this story.

snhamlett said...

Wow, I was waiting for the twist the whole while... I even reread it, kind of like, "no way, surely she's gonna change her mind and not go through with it!"

I was leaning toward the love-child thing too.

Kurt said...

Whoa! Very good! It seems weird to say, but it's brave to end a story this bluntly and violently! I love it!

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