Every year I sign up for NaNo and every year I never finish. It's not that I don't want to write a novel. I have three unfinished WIP's sitting collecting dust.
I have a top ten list why I never finish and collect my winner's badge:
10. I procrastinate.
8. I always stop to edit.
7. I get bored with the current project.
6. My mind goes blank.
AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON:
I have to admit I'm my number one downfall when it comes to sticking with a writing goal. It's not that I don't want to write, it's I find excuses not to write. I have been writing something daily, but not on my WIP. I'm not sure why I sabotage myself? Is it a deep-seated proclivity? Probably. I suffer from fear of failure and fear of success.
My fear of failure stems from the many rejections I've received throughout my writing career. I realize rejection is part of the publishing game, but I can never wrap my senses around the fact I fail at something I love to do.
I also have a fear of success. I know, who doesn't want to be successful? I do, but then some days I don't. I guess it's part of my fear of failure. I freeze up when I start to talk about my publishing credits or I don't even talk about them at all. My family gives me more accolade's than I give myself.
My fears are real and tend to get worse every NaNo season. Will I ever complete the task? I don't know. I am too far behind in the race to catch up. I might finish my WIP, but not full speed ahead.
Look for me again next NaNoWriMo for I am a glutton for punishment!